Κυριακή, 25 Οκτωβρίου 2009

"Και ζήσαν αυτοί καλά και εμείς καλύτερα" vol 5




5. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.

I can be a bit of a know-it-all. There, I said it. It's really not my intention to be hurtful or brash with people I love. It's just that a lifetime of experience has taught me that in most areas, at most times, I am right about most things. What shocked me several years into my marriage, though, was the realization that the more "right" I was, the more discontented my husband and I were as a couple. See, oddly enough, throughout his life Genoveso has been under the misguided impression that he's right most of the time (go figure!). So we'd lock horns — often. That is, until I learned a few things.
Namely, that when it comes to certain disagreements, there is no right or wrong — there is simply your way of looking at things and your husband's. "I used to be very black-and-white earlier in our marriage," says Lindy Vincent, 38, who lives in Minneapolis. "Now I see that I'm not all right and my husband is not all wrong. There's more gray in life than I thought, and that's taught me patience and the value of compromise."

The more I get to know and appreciate my husband for who he is, the more I respect his positions. That doesn't mean I always agree with him. But I can see the value in striking a balance that satisfies us both. And instead of harping on how wrong he is, I can usually swallow the verbal vitriol and simply say something like, "I see your point" or "I hadn't considered that." After I sincerely acknowledge his view, it seems to become easier for him to hear mine. And because I know I'm being heard, most of the time now, I don't even want to prove how right I am anymore. Funny how that works, isn't it? 




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Ακόμα και αν έχεις δίκιο, θα πρέπει να βρεις έναν τρόπο να το κόψεις στη μέση.
Ο εγωισμός και η περηφάνεια σου θα πρέπει να μείνουν στο πατρικό σου ( μαζί με τα λούτρινα, τις φωτογραφίες των πρώην και τα βίντεο από τις διακοπές με τις φίλες σου στην Πάρο-αυτές που ήσασταν διαρκώς μεθυσμένες και καβαλούσατε τα πάντα - και όχι απαραιτήτως δίκυκλα.)
Θα τα υποτάσσεις όλα στο "εμείς" Τι σημαίνει ότι εσύ δεν υποτάσσεσαι; 
Και ξέχνα το, η μαμά σου δεν πρόκειται να σου ρίξει δίκιο. Για την Ελληνίδα μάνα το μόνο χειρότερο από μια ανύπαντρη κόρη, είναι η διαζευγμένη κόρη.

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