3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).
Whoever decided to tell newlyweds "Never go to bed angry" doesn't know what it's like inside a bedroom where tears and accusations fly as one spouse talks the other into a woozy stupor until night meets the dawn. If this scenario sounds familiar, I've got three words for you: Sleep on it.
You need to calm down. You need to gain perspective. You need to just give it a rest. I've found that an argument of any quality, like a fine wine, needs to breathe. A break in the action will help you figure out whether you're angry, hurt, or both, and then pinpoint the exact source. Maybe the fight that seemed to erupt over the overflowing garbage can is really about feeling underappreciated. Could be you're both stressed out at work and just needed to unload on someone. Taking a break will help you see that, and let go. Or maybe you really do have a legitimate disagreement to work out. Without a time-out, sometimes a perfectly good argument can turn into an endless round of silly back-and-forth, rehashing old and irrelevant transgressions as you get more and more wound up.
Even when you do manage to stay focused and on topic, there are some fights that stubbornly refuse to die by bedtime. And if you stifle your real feelings just to meet some arbitrary deadline, your marriage will surely be the worse for it. "This was a huge lesson for me," says Andrea. "As women we've been trained to make nice. But the whole kiss-and-make-up thing just to keep the peace was eating me up inside. I'd let things build up inside me until I just exploded. Now I wait a while to get hold of myself — let the emotions settle a bit — and state my position. Even if that means reopening the fight the next day.
Πώς είσαι όταν έχεις περίοδο; Κάπως έτσι.
Μόνο που πλέον θα έχει περίοδο και αυτός.
Για να δούμε τη θετική πλευρά όμως, εμπλουτίζεις το λεξιλόγιό σου ( γαϊδουρι, κάργια, ίδια η μάνα σου, πώς στραβώθηκα εγώ και σε πήρα, της θειάς σου, της δικής σου, έχεις κάνει το παιδί σαν τα μούτρα σου, τιμαλάκαείσαι, για να σε πάρω προφανώς είμαι, ξαπλώνω δίπλα σου και νοιώθω σα να μπαίνω σε μπατσικό, κοκ )